Guantanamo
September 2028
Today started like every one of the last 500 or so days, with “Reveille” from a loudspeaker at 0430 followed by an hour of calisthenics in the yard with my cellmates. “Citizenship Through Strength” reads the sign on the wall beneath the guard tower.
Opinion
After exercise, we are ordered to strip and stand in line against the wall as we are fire-hosed clean for breakfast. The water is always ice cold. Breakfast is cold, too.
Then we walk single file past the barred windows of the isolation block, where the judges are kept, to the Hall of Truth for morning classes. I think we are meant to hear the moans and sobs of the judges as we file past their dark cells, a constant warning to us not to misbehave or we too will be sent to the hole.
As far as re-education camps go, I hear that this one is nicer than the camp in Greenland. Warmer, at least. But not as hot as the camp in Saudi Arabia.
For this morning’s devotional lesson in the Hall of Truth, we first watched a long video with excerpts of President for Life Trump’s rally speeches. There were lots of star-spangled screaming eagles and Kid Rock songs between the speeches. Enthusiastic applause is always mandatory, and guards stroll between our rows slapping billy clubs on their palms to make sure we are sufficiently motivated.
Right after devotions is Reorientation. It’s a hybrid of confession and snitching. We each have to stand in front of the group and either confess an ideological shortcoming, or accuse another detainee of an infraction of thought. Each of us is verbally abused if we confess any misgivings about Trump, or else rewarded if we accuse another man.
I said “man” because there are no women here. Rumor has it that the women (or “broodstock, in the vernacular of The New American Revolution) are kept in a facility outside the wire, on the other side of the island. I’ve also heard that it is a camp where fertility is second only to patriotic fervor in value. But like I said, those are just rumors.
Demographically, everyone here is a United States citizen, or at least we were before we were deported. What we are now is anyone’s guess.
In my case, a couple of guys in skinny ties approached me on the street and said some folks wanted to talk to me. Then I got a free airplane ride. When airborne, I was shown an official-looking Department of Justice expulsion order that was endorsed by my congressional delegation and the Freedom Caucus, telling me that I was persona non grata in Wyoming.
No reason was given. I suppose that, after a lifetime in the Big Empty, I simply outstayed my welcome.
After lunch, we are marched to the Victory Garden to begin hard labor. Above the toolshed where we pick up our shovels and hoes for working the Ivermectin plantation, the sign reads “Work Makes Us Free.” Horseback overseers, Proud Boys all, watch us from the shade, cradling their AR-15s.
Cultivating the rows of Ivermectin plants beneath the scorching Cuban sun, I allow myself to wonder where I went wrong. Did I speak out too loudly against Trump’s takeover? Was I too vocal in my support of others who did the same? Was my faith in our former Constitution and its guarantee of civil liberties and the rule of law too naive? Was I merely another fat, dumb, happy and complacent American in the land of plenty?
Or did I not do enough to resist the despotism we all saw coming? Was I half-hearted in defense of my country against Trump’s coup? Did I not risk enough to prevent it? Was I too fearful to do anything but watch? Was I secretly pleased when someone I didn’t like was arrested, never thinking it would happen to me?
All water under the bridge now. The die is cast, the fat is in the fire. All I can do now is sweat in the Ivermectin patch, with visions of black market Copenhagen dancing in my head.
After supper is vespers in the Cathedral of the Immaculate Election. Beneath a portrait of Pope January VI in his orange cassock and mitre, we sing patriotic hymns, and listen to recorded sermons from Joel Osteen or some other evangelist of the Prosperity Gospel. We kneel and solemnly pledge allegiance to God’s Kingdom on Earth, and to its anointed Chosen One.
Alone in our bunks at night, we have long, dark hours to contemplate how we got here — political prisoners of a culture war.

Excellent! I’ll go outside, but I won’t clean.
We should all be thankful that Rod Miller recently got released after serving three years in the CSD Penitentiary for Those Who Stand Up to the Full Gun and Gospel Club of Wyoming.
This would be kind of funny if there wasn’t the possibility of being sent to one of the San Diego camps on the Gulf of Trump
Please tell me that there’s a Fahrenheit 307 currently in the works… Or, maybe that Good Dog Henry is chewing on a retelling of The Grift of the MAG..I?..A?..
Me, I’m hoping somebody kept a copy of the plan book for conducting the Nuremberg Trials of former Nazis after WWII. We’ve got about 200 ranking MAGAs and GOP Congresspersons to try. Trump is reopening Alcatraz just when we’ll need it. Rename it Mar-Al-Catraz and paint it pink. Don’t plan on doing much golfing in your retirement years, Donald. The sunshine and fresh breezes never make it down to the dungeons…
(Historically speaking of Gulags, aka Concentration Camps, aka Death Camps)
Hinge factor….. 27 February 1933
Who burned the Reichstag?
A communist? A nationalist? A socialist? A christian? A muslim?
A communist was quickly arrested, accused, condemned and hung. No coverup necessary.
Four weeks earlier under the urgent propaganda of a communist threat, senile President Paul von Hindenburg handed the office of chancellor over to a man who would nearly destroy Europe in less than 12 years.
As the brown shirts marched around in circles all night celebrating their victory, the aged WWI general and former leader of the defunct Republic, suffering from dementia and watching from his balcony, turned and remarked: ”I didn’t know we had captured so many Russian prisoners.”
To accomplish this coup, the Nazis passed The Reichstag Fire Decree and The Enabling Act , making Adolph Hitler, who was once quoted as saying: “Power is the ultimate law.” –into a totalitarian dictator.
I’ve always felt that major historic events often hang on such bizarre hinge factors that are strange but true. Sometimes it is the most unlikely alignment of events that ultimately make the most disastrous difference.
Of course, Nazis were suspected of having started the fire and logically they had the most to gain from it, so probability suggests that is a fact. Shrewd manipulation of evolving political landscapes can often bring the desired results and for better or worse, the history of atrophied Republics tends to repeat itself. Though the Reichstag under Nazi control continued to meet in the Kroll Opera House, the Reichstag building itself was not reconstructed until the 1990’s.
America is facing a similar propaganda induced crisis today. As in 1933, lies have been spread in order to seize and wield power and more lies are being told for the purpose of holding on to it. Can we really believe that the Congress of the United States, who have for years been bought and paid for by their mega rich donors, will be passing any legislation that benefits anybody but themselves and those “high net worth individuals”?
It matters very little who wins a presidential election anymore. Corruption is widespread in both political parties. Loyalty to Constitution and constituency have been replaced by partisan extremism and demagoguery. Much like the ancient Roman senate, our lawmakers are out of touch with their populace and seem to believe that the ”American People” are the rich individual donors and corporate lobbyists they hear from on a daily basis. The collective, mostly complacent, electorate are spurned, unless it is time for them to vote and even then, promises made before elections are not promises kept afterward.
Moreover, there is a malicious supremacist overtone that permeates legislative discussions of the poorer “lower class” Americans. The “War on Poverty” of the Johnson years, has been replaced with an actual “War on the Poor”.
Welfare and “entitlements” have been “Trumped-up” and propagandized as the reason our country is in debt and cannot afford to fix its infrastructure or health care system, when the truth is, Congress long ago squandered that money that was levied through payroll taxation to pay for protracted wars, exorbitant defense budgets, pork-barrel domestic projects, raises for themselves and tax cuts for the rich. The fund that Ronald Reagan promised in 1983 to “make permanent”, no longer provides a long term benefit to the now aged individuals who made those contributions in good faith. It is now being defined by a chainsaw wielding, Nazi saluting billionaire as a “ponzi scheme”.
For decades corporations and bankers have moved businesses and money offshore to evade taxes and turn bigger profits—despite all the current propaganda, those jobs are not coming back. Technology has long been replacing people in the workplace. There is no longer any long term job security, especially for young people just starting out. Corporate CEO’s make mega millions in salaries and bonuses, while former workers draw what little “welfare” is available to them as they look for a new job, in a country teetering on further economic collapse.
Monetary collapse had already occurred in Germany when Hitler and the National Socialists took power. In the years prior, a wheelbarrow full of Deutsch-Marks would not buy a loaf of bread. Corruption and cronyism was everywhere in government and business, as it is now. The shared wealth principles of communism had become more appealing and were loudly being voiced by many of the starving German people. Hitler took advantage of this disruption and fear by renewing their pre-WWI sense of nationalism and combining the term socialism with it, to counter what he portrayed as the communist menace.
And so it was that the Reichstag burned, and with it the praetorian Wiemar Republic. While an entire people, under the spell of a cult of personality, followed a man they believed to be their savior, who took them down a path of destruction–leaving them in 1945, amid a hellish landscape they could never have imagined, staring at the smoldering Reichstag rubble of 1933.
Beware the hinge factors. Remember, Rise, Resist!
Very well articulated reply, thanks William. I do disagree with ‘both sides are bad.’ The Dems have significant faults (insider trading, pet projects, identity politics), but they fully support the US Constitution, support due process (trump got a trial by jury in front of the world, and a jury of his peers found him guilty on 34 felony counts). Dems passed legislation like the ACA, the bipartisan IRA, CHIPS, reduced Rx drug and insulin prices, capped credit card fees, etc…. policy items that looked to help Main Street America. The two parties are not the same, not by a long shot.
I agree Coy, especially at this historic Constitutional juncture. As a non-affiliated voter, I have more often than not voted Democrat for those very reasons. Thanks for the reminder.
Are you SURE it’s satire? Haven’t seen Rod lately.
Rod is spot on. When the rule of law and due process go by the wayside for one group, it doesn’t take long for them to be denied for everyone. Think it can’t/won’t happen to you? Think again.
Love satire especially Rod Miller satire.
Rather than satire I would call this prescience. Anyone with eyes let them see, with ears let them hear, with a voice let them speak out. Dark times are ahead if we cower in a corner and let this happen. Dave Gustafson
I ask where the 2A Patriots’ cabal is with all of these recent direct assaults on American civil liberties, freedoms and democracy itself? We heard for decades our children needed to be slaughtered in their classrooms, a uniquely American event, because the American right to a well-regulated militia was the frontline against tyranny. Some dead children could be justified with thoughts, prayers and a vigilant group of heavily armed 2A advocates closely guarding our Constitutional rights.
Now tyranny has arrived with a full throated maga yawp, and our gun owning Patriots are suddenly at a loss for words, or action. American liberties are now like the children in Uvalde, TX – left to die while the armed men of inaction linger and shuffle nervous boots in the dirt.
Legal American citizens are being rounded up, denied due process and deported by plain clothes ICE agents who refuse to identify themselves. Let that sink in. Legal citizens, rounded up and deported. False evidence against US citizens is being clumsily fabricated by maga interns with Microsoft Paint. Universities are being threatened, judged are being arrested, and the sitting orange POTUS stated “I don’t know…” when asked if he had to follow the US Constitution. The same clown is threatening a third run for the WH, which is also subsequently against the US Constitution. Unelected billionaires, and pimple faced INCELS are gutting our institutions and watch dog groups, while former Allies turn against us. This is the tyranny we were lectured about by conservatives and the NRA, while we were burying our children.
I’m beginning to the think our 2A Patriot cabal never intended to protect America from tyranny, but were actually stockpiling weapons and ammo to help impale our democracy and liberties on a neo-fascist stake. The way most of them cowered away after 9/11, leaving the fighting of our Nation’s wars to better men and women, should have been a clear indicator of where they truly stood. The big hat, no cows approach to patriotism. Their support of the 06 Jan insurrection sealed the deal.
Wake up, WY. Our decent into the abyss is quickening.
Excellent take. I have wondered the same.
I’m with you
Not too far off the mark given the proclivities of the current “Alpha” class. Less passivity and more anger and action are warranted.
It’s what keeps me awake at night.