Gerald Lovato had a lot to do before his next fight. A physical. An eye exam. Blood work.

Swinging by his Albuquerque home that afternoon, Gerald found his roommate making tacos. Mikey, also a professional fighter, was studying massage. “Before your fight?” Mikey asked, gesturing to his massage chair in the corner of the kitchen. Gerald smiled. Later. 

Both were men of few words. For Gerald, the tendency toward quiet started with childhood abuse. Then, out celebrating his 21st birthday, he got mixed up in a brawl. A stab wound that debilitated his right hand also left him anxious about crowds.

A physical therapist suggested he try mixed martial arts. Gerald got good fast and turned pro. Mikey, his teammate, was like a brother.  

Mikey was in the kitchen when Gerald left to finish his pre-fight tasks and get his daughter from school. She remarked how good it smelled when she got home. 

“Mikey made tacos. We’ll have that for dinner.”

But Mikey wasn’t around. 

Gerald woke that night to Mikey’s girlfriend banging on the front door. She couldn’t get him on the phone. 

Gerald knocked on the door to his friend’s room. No response. He tried the handle. Locked. He forced it open. 

Mikey’s death ignited Gerald’s drive to understand the pervasive silence surrounding suicide. Gerald was no stranger to suicidal thoughts. The two men could have helped one another. 

But there was still the match. As Gerald prepared to enter the ring, an unusual thing happened. 

“This guy walks in and he’s like, ‘Hey, anybody want a chair massage?’ It just felt like Mikey fulfilling his word.” 

He lost a close fight. But the chance encounter reminding him of Mikey stayed in his head.

He fought for several more years, till his body couldn’t keep pace with the sport’s demands. Gerald rekindled a love for art he’d abandoned as an insecure child.

A move to San Diego to get his daughter closer to her mom landed Gerald in painting school. 

Painting alone in his studio, the flow he’d felt in the ring coursed through him again. He found personal peace and catharsis, but Mikey’s death, and those of other friends, pushed Gerald to address the silence surrounding suicide through art. 

Back in New Mexico he hosted art events to bring his community together. That led to an introduction to a University of Wyoming American Studies professor who encouraged him to study in Laramie.

This spring, he’ll graduate with a master’s degree focused on art’s role in suicide prevention. Experience Gerald’s research in action at “Wyoming Unite” from 6 to 9 p.m. Thursday at the University of Wyoming Art Museum in Laramie. 

Inviting his community to connect around suicide terrifies him more than a fight. It’s important work, but he’s still a quiet guy who gets nervous in crowds. 

He knows what to do in moments like this. You tape up your fists, believe in yourself and get in the ring.

If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, call or text the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988.

Tennessee Jane Watson is WyoFile's deputy managing editor. She was a 2020 Nieman Abrams Fellow for Local Investigative Journalism and Wyoming Public Radio's education reporter. She lives in Laramie. Contact...

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  1. Wonderful profile of a man who’s using the sorrow from his life to help others. Thank you, Ms. Watson, for this article.

    Reply
  2. Reply