Freedom Caucus will ‘five and dime’ Wyoming until it falls apart

I got my first real job when I was 16. It was part-time, after-school work at Woolworth’s in downtown Cheyenne — a typical “five and dime” store that had lots of customers looking for bargains in the 1970s.

We sold cheap stuff. Not for a nickel or dime, as such businesses did back when they began in the 19th century, but pretty low prices. I was hired as a janitor, but my job soon morphed into a lot more. I worked the cash register, ran the pet department, engraved jewelry, made keys, stocked shelves, washed dishes and sold sno-cones at Frontier Days parades. And in my spare time I tried to keep the place clean. 

I was paid $1.60 an hour but there were perks: At our grill and soda fountain they let me cook myself the occasional burger or help myself to a milkshake. 

You don’t have to be a historian to know that Woolworth’s eventually imploded — and not because my free food cut into the profits.

I thought about these experiences when I learned that the hardline Freedom Caucus, which will take control of the House next month, announced its “Five and Dime plan” last week.

Couldn’t the caucus have vetted this name before rolling it out? If the goal was for the plan to be taken seriously and have any value, why would politicians want generations to connect it to poorly staffed bargain basement operations that eventually folded when they couldn’t compete with malls?

But it’s a fitting name, because you get what you pay for in this world, and what the Freedom Caucus is peddling is not only worthless but damaging. I wouldn’t give a plugged nickel for it, and neither should you.

In a video Rep. John Bear (R-Gillette), Freedom Caucus chairman emeritus and new Joint Appropriations Committee co-chairman, unveiled a plan to pass five key pieces of legislation within the session’s first 10 days. With full control of the House that shouldn’t be a problem, but portions — preferably the whole bloody thing — could meet obstacles in the Senate and with Gov. Mark Gordon. 

Here’s the agenda the Freedom Caucus said it has a mandate from voters to approve:

• Pass Secretary of State Chuck Gray’s proposal to require proving U.S. citizenship and Wyoming residency when registering to vote.

• Invalidate driver’s licenses issued to undocumented immigrants by other states so they can’t be used in Wyoming. 

• Prohibit the University of Wyoming and community colleges from “engaging in discriminatory hiring or continuing education requirements that place moral, historical or other blame on a person or group of people based on immutable characteristics.” [That’s on the heels of defunding UW’s Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Office.]

• Ban the state from investing in businesses that prioritize environmental, social and governance — known as ESG — investment principles.

• Revive a bill vetoed by the governor earlier this year that would give a 25% property tax cut to residential property owners on the first $2 million of their home values.

These are the priorities of the first state in the nation to have the Freedom Caucus in charge of a legislative chamber. This is what Wyoming residents are supposedly clamoring for?

First, let’s dispel the notion that the Freedom Caucus has a huge mandate from the public. Most legislative races in this ultra-red state are determined in party primaries, which this election year drew only a quarter of eligible registered voters. 

Yes, GOP voters chose enough Freedom Caucus incumbents or its endorsed candidates over the rival “traditional conservatives” from the Wyoming Caucus to take command. But for this lame grab bag of mostly phony national issues to take priority over matters that actually affect Wyomingites is preposterous.

Gray has been squawking about how Wyoming’s accurate and fair election system is supposedly rampant with fraud since former (and now future) President Donald Trump’s false claim that the 2020 election was “rigged.”

The secretary’s proposal is an attempt to throw more roadblocks in front of people who simply want to vote. If Wyoming is this paranoid about where we came from, maybe we’ll soon have to show our birth certificates to buy a beer or a gun.

Is one of law enforcement’s essential duties to get undocumented workers who pass another state’s driver’s tests off our roads? Aren’t there more important things for police to do, like investigating real crimes?

In 2024, smart and effective DEI and ESG policies that the far right ridiculously labels “woke” became red-hot targets for frantic groups like the State Freedom Caucus Network in Washington, D.C., which gives the caucus its marching orders. 

Sure, why would the Equality State promote diversity and invest in protecting the environment? What’s in it for conservative white fundamentalist males (i.e., good ol’ boys) who are scared to death of losing power? Never mind that it’s simply good business. A company that doesn’t have its eyes on the future, i.e. one that isn’t factoring in how a changing environment and culture stand to affect its bottom line, is a company that’s headed for Woolworths’ fate.

Gordon called the caucus’ property tax bill a “socialistic type of wealth transfer” that would hurt the state’s energy industry, retail and manufacturing sectors. I admit the governor’s rhetoric is way over the top but Gordon recommends many better property tax cuts, including further expansion of a rebate program for homeowners. The only thing the Freedom Caucus has against the numerous effective property-tax-relief programs Wyoming already has on the books is that they weren’t the Freedom Caucus’ ideas.

Compare the “Five and Dimers” agenda with two of Gordon’s priorities. In his supplemental budget he recommended increasing various Medicaid reimbursements rates to help patients, recruit physicians and keep hospitals open. The governor also wants to replenish funds depleted by a historic wildfire year.

Meanwhile, the Freedom Caucus has no intention of stopping at five bills, because it has countless plans to inflict upon Wyoming.

To wit: Hand out additional boatloads of state money to private and religious schools; strip women of bodily autonomy; hamstring public health officers’ abilities to address population-level threats to the common good; police libraries and get rid of all books that address sex and LGBTQ issues; and further diminish the liberties of transgender individuals. 

Let’s not forget Gray’s favorite boogeyman and ban voter drop boxes.

Much of the Freedom Caucus agenda is likely to pass the Senate. Sen. Bo Biteman (R-Ranchester), incoming president of the upper chamber, previously sponsored an anti-ESG investment bill. The Senate agreed to defund UW’s DEI office. An obviously unconstitutional school voucher program has strong support for expansion in both chambers. “Pro-life” senators will demand action, and this time Gordon may let them do everything they want.

I fear what the Freedom Caucus admitted publicly it has in store for the state is only the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Agency budgets could be slashed beyond recognition, hundreds of state employee positions eliminated, and we’ll spend buckets making a show of suing the feds in mostly unwinnable cases.

One of my worst experiences working at the five-and-dime store was when the assistant manager told me to assemble a bicycle for a customer. It was probably an easy task for someone capable of following simple instructions, but that’s not how I rolled, then or now. What I put together sort of resembled a bike, but I pity the poor kid who tried to ride it.

I have the same worries for all of us in Wyoming who will be victims of the Freedom Caucus’ irresponsible assembly of government machinery that will literally fall apart if we blissfully try to pedal to our destination. Not all of us will make it intact.

The only good news is that while this outcome may be unavoidable now because of those we elected, it doesn’t have to stay that way. Let’s document every dimwitted idea this political circus hurls our way, and scream loud and long until we can vote them out of office.