Abel lost long ago, Cain loses now

Folks, we in Wyoming were maybe not that far from the Great Fall, the exit from the Garden of Eden, preceding or during the era of the great coal deposits lately discovered by inhabitants of what is now Wyoming.  The exit from Eden shortly preceded the killing of Abel by Cain, the First Murder. Maybe these momentous events occurred in Wyoming. No, no. no, everyone knows these bad things happened in Iraq.

I think, but do not know, that the First Murder predated the invention of methamphetamine. Did Cain have a lawyer? Temporary insanity, justifiable homicide, the M’Naughten test; did anybody bring these up? What about  a mutant overwhelming sex drive?

In the Olden Days they used terms like slay, slew; slain and dead-enders.  Whoops, hold on say alert readers, “dead-enders” is a Don Rumsfeld term of recent coinage, and even he, allegedly evil incarnate, was not around for the fall of the Garden of Eden, though he was instrumental in arranging the fall of the next Garden of Eden.

Rumsfeld is a great example, like Dick Cheney, of a really smart guy who loses his focus and trains his smarts on an elusive goal which is fatally corrupted.  The senseless invasion of Iraq, which only killed people and strengthened Iran: Reinvention of original sin?

Original sin is a metaphor for self-awareness as advanced mammals emerged from “innocent” feeding and sex in trees to recognition of “choice” in whether to eat, copulate, or copulate with the neighbor.

Newt Gingrich, temporarily enflamed with pollster fame, is familiar with these concepts.  So was Gary Hart. They freely copulated with neighbors.   Let’s ask Gennifer Flowers and Fannie Foxe whether the sins committed by their lovers were original.  Probably not, at least in their experience.

Let’s get back to Cain.  The original Cain killed his brother: the Original Murder.  The currently famous Cain has not killed anyone, other than the idea that he could be electable to any public office.  He can’t keep his member in his pants and he can’t tell the truth about the aforesaid problem.

He isn’t Abel but I guess he, like the Biblical criminal, is Cain.

Let’s work this metaphor.  Abel was an easy-going, tolerant guy.  He could have sold used cars, or used donkeys, or used rocks, depending on the times.  In those days probably the most valuable used object you could sell was a sheep.  I could see arguments about such issues getting violently out of control.

Every day I work on this piece I worry that it will be obsolete because Herman Cain will drop out of the race before the piece is published.  Every day Cain astonishes me by not announcing that his fatal personality traits have crashed his campaign.

Whoop, Whoop.  Reality Alert !! Cain opened his new HQ in Atlanta and then just up and quit !!  Dang it !!  There go several analogies and puns.

But in the interest of a bigger lesson, I shall labor on.

The Donald pretended to be a Contender to sell whatever it is he sells; hair care products, casinos, smiles, pretensions.  Rick Perry has converted vanishing political ambitions into talk show humor bits.  Michele and Sarah parlay their moments in candidacy sun into book-selling promos.  Pundits say that Cain stays in the limelight to sell books and Gingrich-like $60,000 speeches.  Not any more.

Ron Paul believes his principles, rain or shine.  Ross Perot did too.  They are not marketing personality, they are pushing sincere agendas.

Newt and  Mitt turn like the weather vane on my roof, but at least they are serious candidates, not promoters of books and speeches.

Cain or Abel?  Abel is dead, as is Cain’s moment in the sun.  I think maybe this will turn out as Newt, the political insider pretending to be the outsider, against Obama the neophyte who doesn’t really control anything.  Presidential politics is not much other than a circus these days.  What was the song?  “Clowns to the left of me, clowns to the right”.

Aren’t clowns supposed to make you happy instead of depressed?

REPUBLISH THIS STORY: For details on how you can republish this story or other WyoFile content for free, click here.

— If you enjoyed this article and would like to see more quality Wyoming journalism, please consider supporting WyoFile: a non-partisan, non-profit news organization dedicated to in-depth reporting on Wyoming’s people, places and policy.