Al Simpson:  Facts and Fantasies

What does a commentator do with a guy who describes the Social Security system as “a cow with 310 million tits”?

One point of view is that he needs to have his mouth washed out with soap, except he is already 79 years old, so what’s the point?

Another view: he’s sexist and age-ist.  Wait, he already is 79 years old, so he can’t be prejudiced against old farts.  He IS an old fart.

He’s probably too old to be taken seriously as a sexist.

Another point of view: he is grumpy, short-fused and lacks self-restraint.  Kind of like a badger, a point made in an earlier Sage Grouse column.

It’s fun to poke at this colorful character.  But, he is a veteran, and he does draw a Congressional pension, so he is way better off than the rest of us looking forward to that Social Security faucet.

Remember, Social Security was in trouble before the recession idled millions of people who paid in, while the beneficiaries keep drawing out that which they earned.

Criticizing the Social Security system as servicing hundreds of millions of workers who paid in?  If the point is that it is unfunded, make that criticism.  If the point is that people who expect to draw out are greedy or unjustly expectant, Senator, you have that wrong.

Here is an idea:  slap a $5.00 per barrel tariff on all imported oil, put the money into the Social Security trust fund AND prohibit Congress from borrowing from the fund.  Require that the oil-tariff fund be invested in small banks, not in too-big-to-fail banks, in increments of $200,000 per bank, all across the country.

As you drift off to sleep, Al, would you rather count millions of tits or millions of Arab oil wells funding Social Security?  Al, pay attention:  Cow tits.

Join the Conversation

2 Comments

Want to join the discussion? Fantastic, here are the ground rules: * Provide your full name — no pseudonyms. WyoFile stands behind everything we publish and expects commenters to do the same. * No personal attacks, profanity, discriminatory language or threats. Keep it clean, civil and on topic. *WyoFile does not fact check every comment but, when noticed, submissions containing clear misinformation, demonstrably false statements of fact or links to sites trafficking in such will not be posted. *Individual commenters are limited to three comments per story, including replies.

Your email address will not be published.

  1. RT. great ideas. They are so simple and worth all the attention we can give them. Al Simpson has become a really old fart!!!

  2. WHEN I REACHED 62 AND APPLIED FOR SOCIAL SECURITY MR. SENATOR SIMPSON SENT ME A FACT SHEET TO SHOW WHAT I PAID IN NINETEEN FIFTIES DOLLARS AND WHAT I WOULD RECEIVE IN 21ST CENTURY DENOMINATIONS.

    I REPLIED AND ASKED HIM TO MULTIPLY THE FIFTIES ACCOUNTING BY 15 TO 20 TMES SO AS NOT TO COMPARE APPLES AND ORANGES AND TO DO THIS FOR ME AND FOR EVERYONE ELSE.

    HE IGNORED MY REQUEST BUT I FEEL IT WAS A GOOD ONE SINCE NINETEEN FIFTY COKES COST A NICKEL AND 21 CENTURY COKES TEN TO TWENTY TIMES THAT AMOUNT. GASOLINE WAS 15 CENTS A GALLON THEN AND NOW TWENTY TIMES, ETC, ETC ETC.

    ALSO I SHOULD BE RECEIVING OVER A THOUSAND A MONTH IN SOCIAL SECURITY BUT ONLY RECEIVE ONE FOURTH THAT AMOUNT.

    I ASKED SIMPSON’S OFFICE TO INQUIRE BUT WAS IGNORED.

    IN SPITE OF ALL OF THIS I VOTED FOR THE GUY EVEN THOUGH I STOPPED CALLING MYSELF A REPUBLICAN AFTER 1976,

    ED WARSAW
    CHEYENNE